how small is small?

small things can bring a big effect. sometimes, we underestimate how a little wave can actually drown us. often, we just look out for the big waves ruling out that the little ones would just break in a second.

sometimes, tremendous consequences come from little things. those little things that we overlook could make a huge difference to ourselves or others, presence or future and even to make peace with the past.

As the saying goes... "a small leak can sink a great ship".

annoyed

At times like these, I think I finally understand why being silent is much better.

No, it's not that I don't have a sense of humour.

It's just not that funny.



As I always say... I'm not depressed, I'm just annoyed.

Audacity is not greed

Some people stick with the decisions they make no matter the obstacles or better choices placed in front of them. Others explore their options til the very end and settle with the best they can get.

Do we call the 1st group thankful and the 2nd unsatisfied and greedy? or do we see the 1st as really just comfortable and the 2nd just plain audacious?

Hmm... I wonder..

Distance

Distance made you lose trust in me, made me get bored with you, made you lose interest and made me sick of your neverending demand for me to report everything back to you. It only brought us apart when we suddenly forgot eachother when we woke up and right before we closed our eyes. Being apart had us arguing about nonsense, bringing the worse out of us. Distance taught us doubt, jealousy, impatience, anger and frustration.


Distance brought an end to 'us'.


But then again, what did distance have to do with all of that?
Distance was just an excuse to stop the blame game.


To think that we would be able to get through anything after what we've been through before is an understatement.

intensity in silence

When there's nothing left to say....

The world doesn't stop for you

Planning to listen in the future doesn't make you a good listener
Planning to have a better day doesn't blow all your troubles away
Planning not to hurt others doesn't stop you from hurting them
Planning to make everything okay just won't make it okay
Planning to not make me cry anymore won't stop my tears
Planning to be a better guy doesn't make you one
Planning to fix it....?
Planning to fix it doesn't assure that it won't break again

I's still be bitter,
and you'd still be sorry.


Planning doesn't get you anywhere....


Not unless you do something.





While you're busy planning, the earth is still spinning, and people are still changing. When you're finish planning, you might just lose the chance to carry out what you have planned.

But then again, that's if you wish to carry it out in the first place.

The talking dummy

Why is it if a guy who's controlling, he's never called a king control? but when a girl tries to say what she thinks, she is called queen control? Just like there's all these names given to girls like bitch, whore, slut etc and not for guys. Even in vocabulary, we can see that it's all gender-biased.

I'm tired with all these people judging my role in my personal relationship which doesn't concern them. So what if I'm a girlfriend who actually has my own thoughts and views? So what if I tell someone off if I don't agree? I can be passive anytime of the day. It's easier. Cause rather than wasting my time thinking bout it, I could just nod to everything you say. Wouldn't that be nice?



Yea... if I was a dummy and you were a ventriloquist.

being needy is just not my style

Instead of trying to listen, people rather make their own assumptions and turn their backs on us. So, is it our fault if we rather not say anything? Sharing is a privilege. A privilege you earn with certain grace.

So stop asking why if you don't want to listen.

Stop blaming me for not wanting to tell you if you were never willing to understand in the first place.

Still do

I wake up every morning with one hope- that my day would be fine or at least better then the one before. Great? That's like reaching for the stars. So yea... I start small. Fine or better. That should be enough, no?

So, I smile, I try so hard to make him smile. Have all of it planned in my head what my day is gonna be like. All through the day, I keep that small little thought in mind. But apparently, nothing works. It doesn't last. Suddenly, it feels like yesterday is repeating itself again and again.

Yet everyday, no matter how hurt I am, or how much I think I'm running out of patience, I still hope anyway. I still try anyway. I still smile anyway. Cause deep down, I still want my day to be better and I still want him to smile.

no option

We always say the things we mean. Especially when we don't think first and when our mood catches up on us. Anger, frustration, stress, fatigue. Emotions rise up and we say what we feel rather than what others wanna hear. That's when we know when others are saying the truth. When they can't control it.

Sometimes, even small things can become a huge matter. It all depends on the situation and obviously the people involved. Sometimes, it hurts a lot when it comes from someone you love. Though you've heard it a thousand times, but when it comes from that particular person, it takes a toll on you and suddenly you feel like you've been stabbed right through the heart (No. I'm not exaggerating).

Then there are moments when it happens, you can't help but doubt the choices you made in the first place and whether it's all worth it. In those times, all you need is just assurance or at least a bit of light that every effort and sacrifice is actually worth it. Or else, all you can think of is giving up and giving up is not an option...




It's not an option.