then and now

Yes... by this time, at this age, I should be able to adapt with it - changes. I'm trying to cope with it but lately I feel like as if the world is moving too fast for me as things change before I could grab a hold of anything and I'm left floating in space with no direction.

A year ago, he was my flanker. When things went wrong, he'd always just repeat the same words with the same intonation, and I'd always be ok.

"Pelan-pelan kayuh..."

"Hang tough, big girl"...

A year ago during CNY, we were siting at the round table laughing our asses off and hiding it from the 'wives'. Although I was a newbie, it felt like family. They would always tease me running out of C12 and they'd be on skype showing off.

Less then a year ago, the 4 of us were tight.. When one of us was having a bad day, we'd just start the engine and drive somewhere, we'd sit for a while and leave our sorrows there and drive back home. Distance wasn't an issue. Words weren't either. We'd never have to say anything to eachother. We'd just know.

Less then a year ago, us 3 girls were like sisters. We would always be 'somewhere' doing 'something'. It didn't matter what or where as long as we'd have eachother, we would always have a blast.

Only months ago, we used to go out around 3am and come back by dawn. We'd see eachother every Sunday and he'd always make me talk the whole time til I eventually got used to it.

Now, we only talk once and awhile - flanker and I. Conversations are just awkward and limited. He's happily engaged and starting a new life.

This year for CNY, I won't be joining them. Just like a few others. We haven't even talked much lately.

At this time, we're so close yet so far. There's just an occasional 'hye' and that's it.

She went back to Sabah. Now there's the 2 of us. I still have one sister but it's not the same. 3 heads are still better than 2.

He refuses to see me. It's ok. It's my fault. I come back and find my things in my room. He left them there with a note.

So yea... things change too fast. It didn't matter how hard it got before this coz I would always have people to fall back on. Now, on rainy days, it gets so hard. I miss them so much..